find me, God!

Friday, February 12, 2010 at 3:13am

my life being too heavy recently.
i can feel the roots near my face,
and how hard to find my lost soul.

i am smiling because ignored sadness,
but it always be my shadows.
i put laugh first above anything,
but still those shadows haunted me.

can i ask a cup of coffee please?
i need to awake all my life,
to pleasure anyone of you.
i don't know where my feet would take me.
lower or higher.

i don't want to missing one night sleeping.
i want to wake up every seconds.

staring outside window,
wearing my most comfortable clothes,
let my hair down,
and my face getting old.
dusty. but happy.
how can i get there?

growing up alone is me.
sometimes in mute,
i hide my tears.
being near to those happy peoples,
makes me tiny and collapsed.
i never find happiness anymore.

i know,
this just my whining.
i'll take the chances,
to be someone unlucky.
yes, you are lucky, peoples.
and don't show your regrets in life to me,
because you might kill yourself if you are me.

..and in the morning you will found dead by room boy,
in some motel room.
bleeding everywhere..

find me, somebody!
where am i?
hiding somewhere between clouds?
gazing universe?
or just in front of my computer?
take me anywhere you want God.
i'm yours.